I have no belief, but I believe.
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Billie Joe Armstrong's LiveJournal:
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| Friday, September 2nd, 2005 | | 4:18 pm |
[Yay for being sick and watching soap operas all day] [privet to Joel] *you walk up to the house, and see a small yellow rose laying on the path up to the door, as you walk forward there are more and more yellow roses, in a path, through the house, and up to the bed room, where laying upon the bed was a boquet of yellow roses, with one dark pink ones in it. The card next to the roses read, "Only one in a million." There was also a CD, on the cd case it said. "you know I can never express myself in my own words" the cd was a recording of the song 'Hands down' by Dashboard Confessional. "Hands Down" Breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep, this air is blessed, you share with me. This night is wild, so calm and dull, these hearts they race, from self control. Your legs are smooth, as they graze mine, we're doing fine, we're doing nothing at all. My hopes are so high, that your kiss might kill me. So won't you kill me, so I die happy. My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelery, which ever you prefer. The words are hushed lets not get busted; just lay entwined here, undiscovered. Safe in here from all the stupid questions. "hey did you get some?" Man, that is so dumb. Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear... so we can get some. My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me. So won't you kill me, so I die happy. My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelery, which ever you prefer. Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember, I'll always remember the sound of the stereo, the dim of the soft lights, the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late and this walk that we shared together. The streets were wet and the gate was locked so I jumped it, and I let you in. And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist and you kissed me like you meant it. And I knew that you meant it, that you meant it, that you meant it, and I knew, that you meant it, that you meant it.* [/end privet to joel] [wow that was lame] |
| Friday, July 29th, 2005 | | 2:55 pm |
I belive I owe an update.
Ok, again I haven't been doing much, I've been hanging out with Joel way too much lately(that's not a bad thing). He's positively amazing, I don't think once we've ran out of things to say, which, for me, is saying alot. I've been looking to meet new people, so anyone I haven't talked to, come entertain me. Me and Joel went to go see Charlie and the Chocolate factory last night, he started crying at the flashbacks, what a big baby. Um...wow, not much eles to say, I got a new apartment, yay! And welcome to all our new people. Congrats to Jon(sp? cause I'm to lazy to check) and Branden. *love*, Billie [[woah, we have a Jeph? when the hell did that happen?]] Current Mood:  flirtyCurrent Music: The Doors-hello,I love you. |
| Wednesday, May 18th, 2005 | | 6:52 pm |
 My journal is from now on Friends only, doesn't that suck [[Ok I'm too lazy to go back and edit them all so from now on it'll be friends only. If you want me to go back I will, just tell me. Theres alot though]] |
| Monday, May 16th, 2005 | | 6:22 pm |
Tomorrow, tomorrow. I love ya tomorrow. Your always a day away.
I don't know what to say. Haha. I start alot of enteries like that. But I really mean it. I'm compleatly speachless. I feel a little guilty since I haven't talked to Tony in forever, I will. I'll do it soon. Not much to say. Franky and Mike- Congrats again guys, you both deserve this so much for everything youve done. You seem really happy, and thats really good, again you both deserve it so much. David- I love you, your amazingly beautiful and just amazing. I know I don't deserve you but I'm still happy to have you, Your just so amazing, I can't belive I never saw it. I'm still really happy you told me what's going on. I like knowing. If you need anything at all I'm always here. Love you, I know I said it already but I can't seem to say it enough. I love you. I love you. ♥  |
| Friday, May 13th, 2005 | | 10:33 pm |
[[Ahh, I won't be on all weekend, I have to go on a camping trip. Talk to you all when i get back]] |
| Tuesday, May 10th, 2005 | | 5:52 pm |
Bleh.
Ok, Hangover. And now I keep listening to that song. David I'm blaming you for the song thing, not that I mind. Yeah, I think I'm with you, that song is how I'm feeling now as well. Tony= We need to talk. I don't know about this. Mike and Franky= Congrats again! Seb= Just be happy man, try to appreacite what you have, not dwell on what you don't. David= Talk to me when you can hun, I'm really worried about you still, love you so much, don't ever forget how much you mean to me. Pie= Feel better man, come to me next time your feeling down, I'm always here. Note to self= Buy more pain killers. ~billie~ Current Music: Dirty little thing- Velvet Revolver (sp?) |
| Sunday, May 8th, 2005 | | 11:05 am |
I didn't fuck up, but it still ended like this.
I have nohtoing to say, but I felt lke updating. I ttried really I did. Mike I think we need to go to the church thing soon, mainly just because I don't intrend on being sober much longer. I don't know, I realkly don't. Apparantly I was right, Mike, Franky, Joel, everybody, you were all fucking wrong, I was right, it is impossiple to love me. I'm so fucking easy to forget, so fucking easy to loose. It's impossible for anyone to care about me. "Take it away" The Used I'm lying to myself And this dagger's my excuse I'm a pawn I Should have paid up And I left an hour late I was laid up I must abuse myself I'm against all that I've made up Set in stone the sun will come And I hate light You know I hate light To me it looks so pretty burning Burn the sun Burn the light Take take take take take take it away Take my hand Take my life Take take take take take take it away I must have caught something In the heat of all these dances I'm a worm with no more chances And I've lost all doubt In a chemical romance I can't stop itching over thoughts of tarnished hope kinda funny lonely feeling I'm not in love You know it's not love Don't make it look so pretty burning Burn the sun Burn the light Take take take take take take it away Take my hand Take my life Take take take take take take it away Burn the sun Burn the light Take take take take take take it away Take my hand Take my life Take take take take take take it away Brothers and sisters I'm right here with you Cause everyone's got one A story to kill me I'm so apathetic in my resentment Living, loving, knowing not Take my hand [x8] Take my life Take my heart take my mind Take my life take my life Burn the sun burn the light Take take take take take take it away Take my hand take my life Take take take take take take it away Burn the sun burn the light Take take take take take take it away Take my hand take my life Take my life Take my life Hell I didn't fuck up this time, I'm proud of myself but I con't see staraght anymore sok yehjh. Well the bottrle calls. Current Mood:  drunkCurrent Music: Hurt-NIN |
| Saturday, May 7th, 2005 | | 10:13 pm |
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| Friday, May 6th, 2005 | | 7:57 pm |
I'm better. I don't know how, but I am.
Maybe I shouldn't say that, ut after last nights show, I don't know there was somthing about it, that made me feel way better. It was the same as all of my shows, same routine, same screaming crowd, same songs. But it felt different. I don't know, it just did. Franky, you guys (MCR) are an amazing opening band. You are just amazing, wow. Well.... hmm I have nothing to say, I'm going to just assum that's a good thing, I'm going to church with Mike this weekend. Woot. [[OCC NOTE because I'm hyper= I went to an MCR/GD show last night, It was amazing. I met Gerard and Franky after the show, and I relized when I was looking at Frankys autograph that it's spelled with an Y not an IE. hmm... ok I'm done. HE HUGGED ME!]] Current Mood:  contentCurrent Music: Trendy (some band handing out CDs at the show, theyre good) |
| Sunday, May 1st, 2005 | | 12:48 pm |
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| Saturday, April 30th, 2005 | | 8:39 pm |
3rd post today.
Took mikes advice Thought Alot. I finally figured it out. [privet to mike] Thank you, you help me so much no matter what it is i'm going through you always find a way to help. Thank you again It means alot [/end] Tony, I need to talk to you soon hun, we need to sort some shit out or eles i need to tell you what I've sorted out so far. I love you. ~billie~ |
| 4:32 pm |
yay for updating alot.
Tony told me he wasen't happy, he promised me it wasen't my fault. And my consicence is saying bitch, please.I told him that it's ok, and that I'm fine And my consicence is screaming uncotrobably I saw adam, he asked me what he was doing wrong, I told him I didn't know. Again my consicence is telling me that I should tell him, that he loves seb and deserves to know why hes not happyI'm drinking right now, I'm sitting here with a cup of Vodka next to me and a ciggerette in my mouth and my consicence is smileing
"Jaded (These Years)"
There's a time and place, for everything.
There's a reason why, certain people meet.
There's a destination, for everyone.
What's the explanation, when we're done?
All the summer nights spent wondering;
So many questions asked, but no one's answering.
Would it be okay if I left today?
Took my chances on what you said was wrong?
I'm jaded, stupid, and wreckless.
Not sorry, and I'll never regret.
These years spent, so faded and wreckless.
Not sorry, and I'll never regret these years.
I'll never regret these years.
Now here i sit, so far away.
Remembering all our memories.
Its times like these that I miss you most,
Remembering when we were so close.
I'm jaded, stupid, and wreckless.
Not sorry, we'll never regret.
These years spent, so faded and wreckless.
Not sorry, and I'll never regret these years.
We'll never forget the places we've been, you and i.
Our lives are slipping away.
Don't want to let time pass us by, byyyyyyy...
I'm jaded, stupid, and wreckless.
Not sorry, and I'll never regret.
These years....
...spent, so faded and wreckless,
Not sorry, and I'll never regret...
I'm jaded, stupid, and wreckless.
Not sorry, and I'll never regret these years.
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| 12:14 am |
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| Thursday, April 28th, 2005 | | 10:41 pm |
Story of my fucking life.
Vertical Horizon Everything You Want Somewhere there's speaking It's already coming in Oh, and it's rising at the back of your mind You never could get it Unless you were fed it Now you're here and you don't know why But under skinned knees And the skid marks Past the places where you used to learn You howl and listen Listen and wait for the Echoes of angels who won't return He's everything you want He's everything you need He's everything inside of you That you wish you could be He says all the right things At exactly the right time But he means nothing to you And you don't know why You're waiting for someone To put you together You're waiting for someone to push you away There's always another Wound to discover There's always something more you wish he'd say He's everything you want He's everything you need He's everything inside of you That you wish you could be He says all the right things At exactly the right time But he means nothing to you And you don't know why But you'll just sit tight And watch it unwind It's only what you're asking for And you'll be just fine With all of your time It's only what you're waiting for Out of the island Into the highway Past the places where you might have turned You never did notice But you still hide away The anger of angels who won't return He's everything you want He's everything you need He's everything inside of you That you wish you could be He says all the right things At exactly the right time But he means nothing to you And you don't know why I am everything you want I am everything you need I am everything inside of you That you wish you could be I say all the right things At exactly the right time But I mean nothing to you And I don't know why And I don't know Why Why And I don't know |
| Monday, April 25th, 2005 | | 6:25 pm |
I don't miss you anymore.
Mike-I NEED to talk to you...ASAP! Mark-I miss you man, we need to talk more. Frankie-I think we should talk to, not sure why but I can tell theres some tention and I don't want it there. Matt-There will be no need to filet me alive, don't worry. Miah-I did it! YAY! Benji&Joel-I'm sorry to hear what happened, you are both amazing guys and don't deserve that. I know we don't talk much but I love you both and you mean alot to me. Pie-Haven't talked to you in forever but I haven't heard anything so I guess no news is good news. Seb&Adam-same as Pie. Adam-I hope you and the baby are doing well, I know your still pissed at me but I'm really sorry. Tom-Thanks you helped me alot last night. You rocka da kasbah. [[Inside joke]] Last but most deffinatly not least. Tony-I'm so happy you are absolutly amazing I know I nowhere near deserve someone as perfect as you but I'm extatic that I have you. I love you so much. *hugs and kisses* If I forgot you, which I don't think I did, Sorry. [[Yay for spacing out during class and writing up this and emailing it to myself so i wouldn't loose it!]] Current Mood: chipperCurrent Music: ? (This shit is bananas B-a-n-a-n-a-s) |
| Sunday, April 24th, 2005 | | 2:53 pm |
Only say till tommorrow cause forever never lasts.
I'm feeling a lot better, it's freaky cause all yesterday I was really upset. But last night I don't know my mood flipped. I'm not going to say that I'll be better for now on. like I have said in the past, I don't wanna jinx it. I'm happy, not sure why but I am. I met Tom today, he kicks major ass. [[everybody go talk to him now...yeah thats my sister]] The boys seem alot better too, Jakob's not sick anymore. Joey's alot better, his girlfriend thing is coming over for awhile later. I don't know if i can call it his girl friend since theyre only ten but yeah. ---------------------------------------- -------------------------------------- 5 days and counting [edit] On a side note... I miss Tre he needs to get back soon [/end edit] |
| Saturday, April 23rd, 2005 | | 5:06 pm |
Love.
Butterflys In your stomach, Heart skipping beats. It can't be healthy. [privet to mike] you wrote this, it'll make more sence to you that way...maybe "Today Is In My Way" It breaks my heart it makes me sad to think of all the times we had You made me laugh and you make me cry And all that I can do is sigh, and wonder why How will I get through tomorrow If I can't make it through today? How will I get through tomorrow, when today is in my way? Today is in my way What's done is done and in the past good things come and go so fast You looked up at me and said goodbye All that I could do was sigh and wonder why I deserve all that I get serves me right I will admit and today just won't go away [/end] Current Music: violence--blink182 |
| Friday, April 22nd, 2005 | | 11:34 pm |
I wanna be the one that makes all your bad days better.
"down" The drops of rain they fall all over this awkward silence makes me crazy the glow inside burns light upon her I'll try to kiss you if you let me (this can't be the end) Tidal waves they rip right through me tears from eyes worn cold and sad pick me up now, I need you so bad Down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down (it gets me so) down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down (it gets me so) Your vows of silence fall all over the look in your eyes makes me crazy I feel the darkness break upon her I'll take you over if you let me (you did this) Tidal waves they rip right through me tears from eyes worn cold and sad pick me up now, I need you so bad Down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down (it gets me so) down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down (it gets me so) |
| Thursday, April 21st, 2005 | | 7:51 pm |
Woo hoo long ass update on its way.
Went to my Moms with Mike, she liked him, I could tell. I hope she didn't say anything that she shouldn't have. I broke a rib, i took a bus to get it fixed last night. It hurts to move. I've been sitting here with Jakob all day, my poor little guy he's sick. Well Joeys on a field trip thing with his mom and class, I went when they dropped him off, i met his little girl friend, shes a cute little girl, very mature for her age shes only ten and acts much older. She was wearing a Ramones shirt, plus she actually recognised me. Haha yeah I'm excited that my son has a good little girl with him. Umm.. we start tour on sunday, that sucks. But I can't wait to get on the road for some reason. I miss the crowds. Song lyrics describe moods really well, has anyone ever wonderd how sometimes other peoples lyrics express how you feel better than your own? I do because I couldn't write anything earlier, for once and so I was listing to the radio and this came on and i was like "Hell thats how I feel right now" "So I Need You" If you could step into my head, tell Me would you still know me If you woke up in my bed, Tell me then would you hold me Or would you simply let it lie, Leaving me to wonder why I can’t get you out of this head I call mine And I will say Oh no I can’t let you go, My little girl Because you’re holding up my world, So I need you Your imitation of my walk And the perfect way you talk It’s just a couple of the million things That I love about you So I need you So I need you So I need you So I need you And if I jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge, Tell me would you still follow me And if I made you mad today, Tell me would you love me tomorrow? Please Or would you say that you don’t care, And then leave me standing here Like the fool who is drowning in dispair And screamin’ Oh no I can’t let you go, My little girl Because you’re holding up my world, So I need you Your imitation of my walk And the perfect way you talk It’s just a couple of the million Things that I love about you So I need you So I need you So I need you So I need you I’m on my own I’m on my own I’m on my own Oh no I can’t let you go, My little girl Because you’re holding up my world, So I need you Your imitation of my walk And the perfect way you talk It’s just a couple of the million things That I love about you So I need you So I need you So I need you So I need you! (you know who you are) Current Mood:  soreCurrent Music: When your strange--the doors |
| Wednesday, April 20th, 2005 | | 6:58 pm |
I should be happy.
I should be happy, But I'm not. I lost a friend. I'm sorry Adam, please don't hate me. "The end of the paralysis I was a statuette Now I'm drunk as hell on a piano bench [[best line ever]] And when I press the keys It all gets reversed The sound of loneliness makes me happier " Current Mood: drunkCurrent Music: your not alone--mxpx (THE cd...yes elsa THE cd) |
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